


O, teach me how I should forget to think

by Jintuh



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Day6 - Freeform, Denial of Feelings, GAY MESS, It's just a real big mess, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, References to Shakespeare, Shakespeare Quotations, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jintuh/pseuds/Jintuh
Summary: "Sometimes, I just want someone to fuck me.”“Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see your black and deep desires.”“Shut the fuck up!”Jae just really, really dislikes his roommate who keeps on quoting old literature… But then his roommate stops quoting his stupid stories and now talks an awfull lot with Younghyun's roommate. And Jae doesn't feel too good about that
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Kim Wonpil, Park Jaehyung | Jae/Park Sungjin, Park Sungjin/Yoon Dowoon
Comments: 9
Kudos: 61





	O, teach me how I should forget to think

Jae hated his roommate. He truly hated him. It wasn’t even like, oh, he’s a bad roommate so I dislike him. No. Jae’s roommate cooked most of the time without complaining, he always cleaned his stuff, he left Jae alone when he needed it, but there was something that Jae just couldn’t stand about him. Whenever his roommate spoke, he would find a way to at least quote one of his old literature stuff, and it was getting on Jae’s nerves... Maybe a bit too much.

“I was so done with him today! So I said he’s insane and you know what he said?” Jae made aggressive hand-movements as he talked to Wonpil; his best friend ever since he was in college. The boy was an astronomy student which was closer to his own major than Sungjin’s stupid literature shit.

“Probably another quote.”

“Exactly! He said something like “Sanity is not statistical” and I just want him to stop. It annoys me so much like, does he think I’m stupid? Does he think that I won’t understand him if he keeps on talking like this?” Jae sighed and took a sip of his orange juice. He could hear Wonpil chuckling, while the rest of the customers in the café, just looked at Jae as if he was crazy.

“I’m 100% sure he doesn’t think you’re stupid Jaehyung. I think he just likes to talk like this. Maybe he’s insecure about something too? Maybe it doesn’t even have a reason. Just don’t worry too much about it.” Wonpil closed his book as his timer went off. “And if you really hate it that much, go talk to him.”

“Are you going?” Jae looked with big puppy eyes at his friend. Wonpil smiled while he packed his bag.

“Younghyun told me he had a surprise. I have to be at his dorm at 4 exact.” Jae sighed.

“Well, have fun then. I’ll probably text Sammy. I do not want to go home with mister-literature.” Wonpil laughed.

“He has a name Jae.” Jae looked at how Wonpil walked away, a small hop in his steps. Jae sighed deeply. He hated to see the love bloom between Younghyun and Wonpil, but at the same time adored it. He just wanted someone for himself.

“Anything wrong? You have been kinda out of it.” Jae raised an eyebrow as got snapped back into reality by Sungjin’s voice echoing through his head. What were they talking about again?

“Out of what?”

“Life.” Sungjin shook his head. _“There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep_. Come on, I’ll bring you to bed. You look exhausted.”

“No!” Jae whined. “I was thinking about what Wonpil said today. We were talking about some problems I have and- and I wonder if he really was right and that I should just talk with him about my problems.” Sungjin raised an eyebrow. He closed his laptop, focusing all his attention on the older male who was laying on the couch.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“It’s nothing...” Jae sighed, getting up from the couch and looking at Sungjin before he decided to ask it. “Do you have any insecurities.” A small smile appeared on the younger’s face.

 _“All people wore protective shells, but inside, one emotion governed them, fear_.”

Younghyun plopped down on the chair, looking at Sungjin who was working on a thesis. Music was blasting through his headphones while he was working in the library, he didn’t even notice the younger taking place beside him.

“Hey.” Younghyun snapped his fingers in front of Sungjin’s face. He got out of his trance and shot a confused look at his friend. He took off his headphones, closing his Word document before turning to Younghyun. “Hey,” he repeated another time.

“Hey,” Sungjin said. “What are you doing here? I thought you had something today.” Younghyun shrugged a little, taking his phone out of his pocket scrolling through Instagram. “Did something happen?”

“Not really, Wonpil just didn’t make it. So now I’m here.”

“It’s exam season for him again? That means it’s exam season for Jae too... Oh fuck me- Jae will be irritable.” Sungjin groaned, hand through his hair as he leaned with his forehead on the table. “How do I survive with a roommate like him?! Younghyun, don’t you want to switch?”

“You want to be roommates with me?”

“No! Not with you! What’s his name again? Your dormmate!” Younghyun laughed, patting his friend on the back. “Jae is making me fucking crazy.”

“Are you sure you don’t like him?” Sungjin got back up and looked through squinted eyes at his friend. His cheeks were a bright red, making Younghyun bark out some laughter. It echoed through the quiet library. “Ah, you’re eyes say you hate him, but your cheeks tell a whole other story, my friend... Come on, just accept your feelings.” Younghyun leaned back on the chair, looking at his own fingernails. “Overall, Jae is cute, the whole campus is basically already swooning for him, so you better work quick.”

“W- What?”

“Yeah... Apparently, he’s very liked with the girls and boys, if you know what I mean...” Sungjin sighed deeply, shutting his laptop. “Even heard he’s great at-”

“Younghyun just shut the fuck up, please. I don’t need you or his dick in my mind. I have to write a thesis about God knows what and I want you to be gone.” Younghyun held up his hands in defence.

“I wanted to say singing. He’s great at singing. But sure, if you want to go that route... He gives the best blowjobs...” Sungjin threw his pencil case at Younghyun who whined as it hit his head. “Okay, okay, I get it! I will go.”

Sungjin groaned as he was standing in front of Younghyun’s dorm. He knocked onto the wooden door maybe a bit too harshly, but he just wanted to go home. The door went open. A guy, same height as Sungjin, was glancing annoyed at Sungjin. This must be Dowoon, Younghyun’s roommate. In his left hand, he was holding a book. A book that Sungjin knew way too well.

“Younghyun forgot his bag pack... And his notes...” Sungjin held up the blue, worn out bag. “I- I’m Sungjin... A friend of his.”

“Dowoon... It’s nice to meet you.” Sungjin felt a blush creep up onto his cheeks as he looked at the guy. “You can come in. Younghyun will be home in a couple of minutes.” Sungjin didn’t want this. Sungjin didn’t want to just sit for a couple of minutes with mister-I-am-too-hot-to-be-true. Sungjin could only nod as he stepped inside.

“You read Shakespeare?” Dowoon tilted his head, but then he realized he had a book in his hand. The book was written by Shakespeare. “ _Sometimes when we are labelled, when we are branded, our brand becomes our calling._ ” Dowoon chuckled a little and Sungjin was surprised that he wasn’t weirded out by it.

“Macbeth. Nice. But, Sungjin, this is Julius Caesar. _The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars- But in ourselves, that we are underlings_.” Sungjin’s face lit up. “You should know your Shakespeare by now, right?” Dowoon opened his laptop. “I will actually perform in a play. The rest of my theatre group and I will perform Julius Caesar next Friday and I like to read the actual stuff before actually doing it.” Sungjin nodded.

“You do theatre?”

“I’m a theatre major, of course, I do theatre!” Dowoon scoffed a little. “What about you? How did you remember the great words of Shakespeare?”

“Literature major… _There is no book so bad...that it does not have something good in it_.” Dowoon raised his eyebrow.

“I do not know that one.”

“Miguel de Cervantes. Don Quixote.” Dowoon nodded and before Sungjin knew it, they were talking about plays and books. Sungjin completely forgot why he even was here anymore. The memory only got back to him when Younghyun came back home and questioned why Sungjin was here. Embarrassed, Sungjin said that he was here to bring back his notes before leaving without saying any goodbye to neither Dowoon or Younghyun.

Jae came home from after his exams and he found his roommate sitting in their dorm, with someone else. Someone Jae knew all too well after the last two weeks. If he wasn’t here than Sungjin was with him. Both were equally as bad according to Jae’s logic.

“Is he here again,” Jae scoffed, voice dripping wait annoyance and irritation. Sungjin shot a glare at Jae. “He was here yesterday too... You know you have a roommate too, right? Plus, he has one too.”

“He has a name, Jae, his name is Dowoon.” Jae squinted his eyes. First, the quotes, now the sarcastic remarks; Sungjin really thought he was stupid. “And the only reason we came here yesterday, was because Younghyun decided to be a bit too touchy with Wonpil for our liking. So if you excuse us now, we want to go further with this project.” Jae rolled his eyes and without saying anything, he got out of the dorm, slamming the door shut. He had the strange urge to cry, but instead of crying, he went to the local café and drown his emotions with coffee.

“Everything alright?” Wonpil came sitting beside him, his words were covered in actual concern. Jae shrugged, stirring his still untouched and probably cold coffee- he didn’t even like coffee. “Come on Jaehyung, what happened?” Jae shrugged another time.

“I just hate Dowoon.” Wonpil raised his eyebrow.

“Dowoon? Younghyun’s roommate? He’s a sweetheart! No one could ever hate him!” Jae had to clench his fists otherwise he would scream at Wonpil too, and he didn’t want to lose another friend... Now Jae thought of it, was Sungjin even his friend in the first place? Did he already ruin his chance by being always so mean to him? “Oh wait- You don’t hate Dowoon, you’re jealous of him!”

“I am not!” Jae sputtered out. His whole face was a bright red from embarrassment and anger. “I am not jealous! He’s just an asshole! He- He decided to just get into Sungjin’s life and now Sungjin is too busy with him instead of- Fuck, I -am- jealous.” Jae shook his head that felt way too heavy right now. “I really am jealous,” he repeated.

“You’ll have to talk to Sungjin about your feelings, you know? It will make you feel better...” Jae sighed deeply. Wonpil was right, as most of the time. “You’ll feel better if you do, you know that, right?” Jae hummed a little.

“But I don’t even know what I feel Wonpil, I am stuck and confused and I just- I just want to die.” Wonpil laughed.

“You first have to figure out what you feel then.” And again, Wonpil was right, something Jae didn’t want to accept. “But maybe you shouldn’t worry too much, right? It’s Dowoon, he isn’t even gay- and Sungjin doesn’t develop feelings -that- easily, right?” Jae showed his best friend a small smile.

“You’re right.” Wonpil hummed. “God, I hate that you’re right.” Jae laughed, hiding his face in his hands. “Oh, Wonpil, please teach me how I shouldn’t forget to think.”

“We both know that isn’t how the quote goes.” The elder rolled his eyes, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

“Shut up.”

Jae was tossing and turning under the sheets. He really should admit it, he liked Sungjin- not liked him. He was in love with the younger male, but they had another fight when Jae came home again. Sungjin accused Jae of being too jealous and Jae, who didn’t want to lose his pride, obviously denied that claim. It ended with them both having said some things they both regret, so Jae wasn’t only feeling stress and confusion, also guilt.

“Why can’t I do anything right,” Jae hissed, pressing the pillow he was hugging, onto his face. He had the strong feeling that he was a failure; a disappointment, especially in Sungjin’s eyes. He wouldn’t blame him, though. He had let his roommate down. He should have been a better friend if he really wanted Sungjin to ever like him back. He sniffled a little, his tears were finally starting to form. They made the pillow wet that was still laying on top of his head. He could hear Wonpil’s voice saying that he should talk to his roommate, but he thoroughly believed that it would ruin whatever was left of their friendship. He groaned deeply and a small knock was heard.

“Can I come in?” Sungjin’s voice was soft yet Jae could hear the concern. The door went open a little before it got closed again. Sungjin put on the little reading lamp. Jae felt his bed dipping down by a sudden weight shift. “Are you awake?” Jae let the pillow fall from his face, revealing his puffy eyes and still wet tear streaks. “I think we need to talk...”

“I don’t want to talk.” Jae sat up straight and crossed his arms. Jae thought he first had to accept his feelings before he could talk to his roommate again. “Not now. I- I’m sorry for what I’ve said Sungjin, but I just couldn’t handle him being here all the time, you know. You also wouldn’t like it if I was here with Wonpil the whole time!” Sungjin smiled a little and rested his hand on Jae’s leg. He nodded. “I am just stressed and I sometimes need my great roommate friend to be here for -me- too.” Jae was seriously trying to make it seem like he wasn’t head over heels for the younger who was staring softly at the older as he made up excuses for his behaviour.

“I know, I’m really, really sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you of being jealous in the first place, I should have known you were just tired and needed some alone time. I hope you can forgive me Jaehyung.” Jae nodded a little. “And please don’t cry alone, okay? Next time, come to me? Your sobs are keeping me awake.” Jae laughed, wiping away his tears.

“I wasn’t that loud.” Sungjin chuckled and got back up. Jae sighed deeply as he laid back in his bed.

“Sleep well, Jae.”

“Good night Sungjin.”

Jae woke up with the feeling like a weight had fallen off his chest. He could finally breathe again, and he hoped he could talk and confess his feelings for his roommate. He got up and threw on some of his clothes that were laying on the floor. He opened his bedroom door, only to stumble upon Sungjin and Dowoon sitting on the couch. Jae quickly shut the door again, the feeling of being choked came back as he listened to the conversation that was going on at the other side of the door.

“Dowoon, I have to tell you something,” Sungjin said. Jae bit his lip, already knowing the way this conversation was going, and he really, really didn’t like it. Because the only two scenarios that could happen right now were both not really in his favour. “I want you to listen very carefully, okay? _I do love you more than words can wield the matter, Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty, Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare, No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour. A love that makes breath poor and speech unable. Beyond all manner of so much I love you._ That’s how much I like you Dowoon, I really do.” Jae could feel the tears wanting to escape his eyes, but he promised himself not to cry. Not now.

At the other side of the door, Dowoon was sitting with his ears bright red, just like his cheeks and basically everything. He cleared his throat before laying his hand carefully down on Sungjin’s and he said:” Sungjin, I really, really like you too. But just as friends, you see? I- I really don’t like guys that way and I really think we’re better off just as friends. I am really sorry Sungjin...” Sungjin hummed a little. His lips curled into the sweetest, softest smile.

“Ah, I see... Thank you, Dowoonie. It was dumb of me to actually think someone like you would like me- Or even be gay in the first place. I- I wasn’t thinking straight. You know, _but love is blind, and lovers cannot see_.” Dowoon nodded and gave the older an awkward hug before excusing himself.

“I think it’s better if I will be going now. I mean it, I am really sorry... I didn’t want us to end up like this...” Dowoon grabbed his bag and Sungjin just sat on the couch, waiting patiently for his friend to leave before finally letting a sob escape that was painfully stuck in his throat. He finally could breathe again. Jae finally got the courage to open the door and carefully approach the crying male.

“I’m so stupid Jaehyung! I shouldn’t have felt this way! He was a friend, nothing more. I was so dumb for letting myself believe that something could actually happen between us! I was so fucking foolish. How could I have let myself done something so fucking stupid? I don’t even know what I feel anymore; I am confused and sad, I guess...” Jae wrapped his arms around his friend, pulling him close to him and letting Sungjin sob and cry and scream all he wants to. Sungjin clung tightly to Jae’s sweater. “I just hate myself...”

“Come, come, there are worse things in the world than getting stood up. The world isn’t ending. He’s still your friend,” Jae whispered. Sungjin’s sobs turned into sniffles, and his grip started to grow weaker as he just let himself kinda melt into Jae’s touch. Sungjin fell weak into Jae’s arms. “Exactly, just let the tears stream. It isn’t fair, I know...” Sungjin hummed.

“I never chose to be gay, but it still feels like my fault, you know? It feels like it’s always my fault.” Jae petted Sungjin’s back as his sniffles were starting to turn back into sobs which turned into hiccups as he spoke. “I just wished I could control who I liked.” Jae wished he could do the same, maybe this everything wouldn’t have ached as much as it did now.

“You’re not the only one, bud.” Jae sighed deeply as he laid down on the couch. He pulled Sungjin on top of him and put on the television. “But, distraction is always good. You get to choose what we’re gonna watch, kay?” Sungjin hummed and stole the remote out of Jae’s hands. The older snickered and didn’t fight back. They watched a dumb series, something light-hearted. Letting the feelings wash over both of them and forget about all the worries and negativity from outside.

“How are you feeling?” Jae whispered, his voice hoarse as he had his arms awkwardly wrapped around Sungjin. They finally decided that it would be good to meet up with their friends who have been calling them for days now. Sungjin mumbled something as he tried to find a better position. The couch really wasn’t big enough to lay on with two people. Sungjin finally turned around, looking at Jae.

“Better. Thank you, Jaehyung.” Sungjin sighed deeply before pressing his lips against Jae’s. The older his eyes widened before relaxing and closing again. Sungjin’s lips were just like he imagined; soft and delicate. Sungjin parted them before getting up. “Thank you for helping me. You’re an amazing person.” Sungjin walked to the bathroom, letting Jae stay behind, still completely baffled by what just happened. And if it was even real.

Wonpil rushed towards Jae as soon as he saw the elder back on their usual spot in the café. He grabbed Jae’s shoulders and cried out:” Jae, where -were- you?! Both Younghyun and I have been trying to call, message and talk to both you and Sungjin but we got no, absolutely zero response! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You made us worried!” Jae raised an eyebrow. Both boys sat down at their spot. Wonpil had already ordered. A glass of water for himself, and a strawberry smoothie for Jae.

“Why were you worried? It has happened more often that we just don’t answer our calls... It isn’t the first time this has happened. Just calm down, okay? I’m alive. Sungjin’s alive... Sort off.” Wonpil let out an exhausted breath as he tried to relax his tensed posture.

“Dowoon came home that afternoon, explaining what happened. Younghyun, being the best friend of Sungjin tried to text and call him, but he didn’t answer his phone, so he called me. I tried calling you to see how you guys were -both- doing, because seeing your crush deeply in love with someone else must have been painful too, so I did, but again no answer so we went to you guys’ dorm where you didn’t open.” Jae felt his cheeks heat up. They just weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone except each other, so they just kinda stayed in their little cocoon.

“We just had to take some time for ourselves. We just talked, watched movies and I tried to comfort Sungjin as much as I possibly could. Only the first day, it was kinda painful for me, but I quickly realized that if I wanted Sungjin to ever like me back, I had to be there for him. So I did and we got closer.” Wonpil nodded and stared down at his own hands.

“I’m glad nothing happened Jaehyung, I got really worried... I really didn’t want anything to happen to both of you and when you just didn’t open the door, I got scared.” Jae patted Wonpil’s thigh.

“Stop being so sappy, dude. Nothing happened. We’re both fine, absolutely fine.” Jae made from his fingers an okay-sign and showed it to Wonpil who rolled his eyes. A smile appeared on his face. “And there’s that smile Younghyun fell deeply in love with!” Wonpil’s ears begun to grow a pretty pink colour.

“Stop,” he whined, crossing his arms and pouting. “You’re embarrassing.” Jae laughed and dipped his hand in Wonpil’s water. He splashed it onto the younger who flinched a little before giggling and doing the same.

“I kissed Jae,” Sungjin whispered. Younghyun exhaled slowly. “Is it weird that I think I used Dowoon as an excuse to not get myself to like Jae? For years now, I have been too starstruck and too confused to actually talk to him, so I used those stupid quotes to help myself cope... But I used the quotes by Dowoon to just make an expression. To tell myself that I could like someone else than Jae. Maybe I was too caught up in my own lies to see that the person I have liked was always there with me.” Younghyun wrapped an arm around his best friend.

“I say this as your friend, okay, but you’re a fucking idiot, but I am one too. We -all- knew you liked Jaehyung but I thought that you just didn’t -accept- it and that you used those goddamn quotes of yours to let him know that you were like, kind of interested in him of some sorts. I always thought he was just oblivious, but you really didn’t notice you had some serious feelings for him?” Sungjin groaned. “That is seriously the dumbest thing I have ever heard, how is that even possible?!”

“I don’t know... Maybe I was aware of my feelings, but I just didn’t want to believe that I liked him. I mean, a lot of people liked him and I knew that if I would actually accept my feelings, I would have been hurt way worse than what happened with Dowoon. It just- It just took a rejection combined with many confused feelings to finally accept my true feelings for Jae, I guess.” Sungjin couldn’t believe that he was finally saying this. He couldn’t believe that this was really happening. “And why do you say that -everyone- knew? How did you know?” Younghyun laughed.

“You don’t get easily drunk, but when you do, you talk. A lot.” Sungjin grumbled. He put his arms over each other and shot a glare at Younghyun. “Plus Jae also wasn’t that good in hiding his feelings.” Sungjin raised an eyebrow and Younghyun slapped his friend playfully. “You didn’t even notice how head over heals Jae was for -you-?! Sungjin, please tell me you have some sense left!”

“Hey!” Sungjin Frowned. “I have some sense left, I just am bad at picking up signals... I thought you would have noticed that by now...” Younghyun shook his head in slight annoyance.

“You really are the biggest fucking mess I know.”

Jae thought everything was going fine. Ever since a kiss, he and Jae just kind off lived further. They didn’t really feel the need to address anything. They didn’t want to ruin the friendship that was going on right now. So when Jae came home and saw a guy sitting on their couch, he didn’t think any off it. He just sat down on the floor, scrolling through his phone and taking sips of his bottled water while listening to their conversation.

“I think you should put that there.” The guy pointed to something on the screen. The comment made Sungjin scoff.

“ _You speak an infinite deal of nothing_ , my friend.” Jae almost spit out his drink- he wasn’t going to do -this- shit again. He really thought he and Sungjin had something now, and he didn’t want to go through another hell of jealousy and weird mixed emotions. He jumped up, scaring both Sungjin and his friend. With his index finger, he pointed at Sungjin. “Jae, what the fuck are you doing?”

“No- No shut up! I have done everything and anything to make you -like- me- to make you -love- me! And what do I get? I have been trying so hard to drop hints on you that I really like you, but you’re as dense as a fucking rock, Sungjin, when will you finally notice that I am in love with you and only you and I don’t want another Dowoon-situation to happen with I-don’t-even-know-his-name-yet!” Sungjin smiled softly as he pulled himself up. He took Jae’s hands into his own, taking them to his lips and pressing a kiss on his knuckles.

“I knew that already, you dumbass. I thought that when I kissed you, it was clear enough that I liked you... I like you a lot, actually, I just thought that you were way out of my league. Also, you have been so jealous whenever I quote something around anyone that isn’t you, but there’s no need to quote the stories anymore, Jaehyung. I was confused and scared of my own feelings. But I’m not confused nor scared anymore. I am in love with you, Jae, I know it for sure.” Jae couldn’t help but let tears stream down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around Sungjin’s waist. Sungjin chuckled and kissed Jae onto his plumb lips. They were sweet, soft and the best thing Sungjin has ever felt. Jae felt like he was being lifted up from the floor; their -real- first kiss together. And he hoped with his whole heart that many more will come. Sungjin parted again and let out some heavy breathing. “Also, his name is Junhyeok.”

**Author's Note:**

> It took me way too long to finish this, my back is hurting, please just, I hope you liked this fic
> 
> (I also tried to fact-check most of these quotes, but it's still the internet so please be nice to me)


End file.
